SELF ESTEEM

A beggar was sitting at a railway station with a bowl full of pencils. A young executive passed by and dropped a dollar into the bowl, but didn’t take any pencils. He then boarded the train. Just before the doors were about to close, the executive suddenly got down from the train and went back to the beggar. He grabbed a bunch of pencils, and said, “I will take some pencils. They are priced right. After all, you are a business person and so am I,” and he dashed back on to the train.

One year later, the executive attended a party. The beggar was also there, dressed in a suit and tie. The beggar recognized the executive, went up to him, and said, “You probably don’t recognize me, but I remember you.” He then narrated the incident that had happened 1 year before. The executive said, “Now that you remind me, I do recall that you were begging. What are you doing here in a suit and tie?” The beggar replied, “You probably don’t know what you did for me that day. Instead of giving me charity, you treated me with dignity. You grabbed the bunch of pencils and said, ‘They are priced right. After all, you are a business person and so am I.’ After you left, I thought to myself-what am i doing here? Why am I begging? I decided to do something constructive with my life. I packed my bag, started working and here I am. I just want to thank you for giving me back my dignity. That incident changed my life.”

What changed in the beggar’s life? It was his self esteem which went up and so did his performance. This is the magic of self-esteem in our lives. Simply, self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves. Our opinion of ourselves critically influences everything, from our performance at work, our relationships and our role as parents, to our accomplishments in life. Self-esteem is a major component in determining success or failure. High self esteem leads to a happy, gratifying and purposeful life.

Self esteem is a feeling that comes from the awareness of what is good and having done it.

There is a story about a farmer who planted pumpkins on his land. For no reason, he put a small pumpkin, hanging by the vine, into a glass jar. At harvest time, he saw that the pumpkin had grown, equivalent only to the shape and size of the jar. Just as the pumpkin could not grow beyond the boundaries restricting it, you cannot perform beyond the boundaries of your self-concept, whatever those boundaries may be.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” “Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ” “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

HOW DO WE DEFINE SUCCESS?

What makes a person successful? How do we recognise success? To some people, success might mean wealth. To others, it is recognition, good health, a good family, happiness, satisfaction, and peace of mind. What this really tells us is that success is subjective. Success means different things to different people. The definition that i feel best summarizes “success” is:

Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal. – Earl Nightingale

Let’s look at these definitions carefully. “Progressive” means that success is a journey, not a destination. We never arrive. After we reach one goal, we go on to the next and the next and so on. “Realization” means it is an experience. Outside forces cannot make me feel successful. I have to feel it within myself. It is internal not external. That is why what often appears as success externally may be total hollowness within. “Worthiness” refers to our value system without which goals can be unworthy. Which way are we heading? Towards positive or negative goals? Worthiness determines the quality of the journey. That is what gives meaning and fulfillment. Goals are important because they give us a sense of direction. Success without fulfillment is empty.

We don’t need to improve 1000% in any one area. All you need is to improve 1% in 1000 different areas, which is a lot easier. That is the winning edge!

Existence alone is not success! It is a lot more!

Do more than exist – live. Do more than touch – feel. Do more than look – observe. Do more than read – absorb. Do more than hear – listen. – John H. Rhoades

APPRECIATED IN THE AFTERLIFE

When you die, you are put on a pedestal. The terrible faults you possess while you’re alive are transformed into wonderful qualities as soon as you’ve gone.

BEFORE: He has a really nasty disposition, He flies into a rage at the drop of a hat, he’s unbearable. He is such a dominating and short-tempered person. AFTER: He was such a different character, He was certainly never one to let people take advantage of him.

BEFORE: He eats too much, he drinks too much. He’s got high cholesterol and damaged liver. He is wasting his precious life, AFTER: He was a bon viveur, an epicurean who knew how to enjoy life’s simple pleasures.

BEFORE: I’ve never seen such a nosy blabbermouth of a woman, she’s the ultimate gossip queen. AFTER: She had an unfailing interest in other people and a permanent need to communicate with them.

BEFORE: She spends all her time at the beauty parlour, her make-up is a real paint job, and she blows all her money on clothes. AFTER: She was always perfectly turned-out and elegant, with a completely individual sense of style.

BEFORE: I’ve never seen such a miser, he won’t even give you the time of day. AFTER: He had a very rare type of generosity, in fact he made all his occasions very precious.

BEFORE: He complains about feeling lonely but he’s fallen out with everyone, nobody can stand him anymore. AFTER: He was very selective about his friends. His very high standards rendered him a happy loner.

BEFORE: To be honest, I won’t miss him very much. AFTER: You will remain forever in our hearts.

We got to know that it is our responsibility to make the world a better place , Ignore Negativity.

THE POWER OF PERSISTENCE

It is easy to succeed today. If you want to get ahead in life, go the extra mile. There is no competition on the extra mile. Are you willing to do a little more than you get paid for?

Most people don’t want to do what they get paid for and a second category of people want only to do what they can get by with. Hard working people are in demand everywhere regardless of age, experience or academic qualifications. When we give or do more than what we get paid for, we eliminate our competition. In fact, we become the competition. This attitude is much more important than intelligence or a degree.

Fritz Kreisler, the great violinist, was once asked, “How do you play so well? Are you lucky?” He replied, “it is practice. If i don’t practice for a month, the audience can tell the difference. If i don’t practice for a week, my wife can tell the difference. If i don’t practice for a day, I can tell the difference.”

Persistence results from commitment and leads to determination. There is pleasure in endurance. Athletes put in years of practice for a few seconds or minutes of performance.

Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Keep going. Tough situations build strong people in the end.”
― Roy T. Bennett

TURN SCARS INTO STARS

THE WILMA RUDOLPH STORY

Wilma Glodean Rudolph (June 23, 1940 – November 12, 1994) was born into a poor home in Tennessee. At age four, she had double pneumonia with scarlet fever, a deadly combination which left her paralyzed with polio. She had to wear a brace and the doctor said she would never put her foot on the earth. But her mother encouraged her; she told Wilma that with God-given ability, persistence and faith she could do anything she wanted. Wilma said, “I want to be the fastest woman on the track on this earth.” At the age of nine, against the advice of the doctors, she removed the brace and took the first step the doctors had said she never would. At the age of 13, she entered her first race and came way, way last. And then she entered her second, and third and fourth and came way, way last until a day came when she came first. At the age of 15 she went to Tennessee State University where she met a coach by the name of Ed Temple. She told him, “I want to be the fastest woman on the track on this earth.” Ed Temple said, “With your spirit nobody can stop you and besides, I will help you.”

The day came when she was at the Olympics and at the Olympics you are matched with the best of the best. Wilma was matched against a woman named Jutta Heine who had never seen a defeat. The first event was the 100-meter race. Wilma beat Jutta Heine and won her first gold medal. The second event was the 200-meter race and Wilma beat Jutta a second time and won her second gold medal. The third event was the 400-meter relay and she was racing against Jutta Heine one more time. In the relay, the fastest person always runs the last lap and they both anchored their teams. The first three people ran and changed the baton easily. When it came to Wilma’s turn, she dropped the Baton. But Wilma saw Jutta shoot up at the other end; she picked the baton, ran like a machine, beat Jutta a third time and won her third gold medal. It became history: That a paralytic woman became the fastest woman on this earth at the 1960 Olympics.

What a lesson to be learnt from Wilma. It teaches us that successful people do it in spite of, not in absence of, problems. When we hear or read stories of people who have turned adversity into opportunity, doesn’t it motivate us? If we regularly read biographies and autobiographies of such people, won’t we stay motivated?

Some of the best music was composed by Beethoven. What was his handicap? He was deaf. Some of the best poetry written on nature was written by Milton. What was his handicap? He was blind. One of the greatest world leaders was US President Franklin D. Roosevelt. What was his handicap? He served from a wheelchair.

Read the life histories of people who have turned a negative into a positive. They refuse to let disappointment and failures pull them down.

ANDREW CARNEGIE

Andre Carnegie /Kar-Nay-Gee ( November 25, 1835 – August 11, 1919 ) was born in Dunfermline, Scotland, and immigrated to the United States with his parents as a young boy. He started out by doing odd jobs and ended up as one of the largest steel manufacturers in United States. At one time , he had 43 millionaires working for him. A million dollars is a lot of money today, but it was worth much more during those days. Someone once asked Mr. Carnegie how he dealt with people. Andrew Carnegie replied, “Dealing with people is a lot like digging for gold: When you go digging for an ounce of gold you have to move tons of dirt. But when you go digging, you don’t go looking for the dirt, you go looking for the gold.”

Andrew Carnegie’s reply has a very important message, Though sometimes it may not be apparent there is something positive in every person and every situation. We have to dig deep to look for the positive. What is your focus? Search for the gold. If you are looking for what is wrong with people or with things, you will find many faults. What are we looking for? Gold or dirt? Even in paradise, fault finders will find fault. Most people find what they are looking for.

CAUTION : Looking for the positive does not necessarily mean overlooking faults.

STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE INFLUENCES

An eagle’s egg was placed with the eggs of a chicken. The egg hatched and the little eagle grew up thinking it was a chicken. The eagle did what the chickens did. It scratched in the dirt for seeds. It clucked and cackled. It never flew more than a few feet because that is what the chickens did. One day he saw an eagle flying gracefully and majestically in the open sky. He asked the chickens: “What is that beautiful bird?” The chickens replied, “That is an eagle. He is an outstanding bird, but you cannot fly like him because you are just a chicken.” So the eagle never gave it a second thought, believing that to be the truth. He lived the life of and died a chicken, depriving himself of his heritage because of his lack of vision. What a waste! He was born to win, but conditioned to lose.

The same thing is true for most people. The unfortunate part of life is “Most people go to their graves, with music still in them.” We don’t achieve excellence because of our own lack of vision. If you associate with achievers, you will become one. If you associate with givers, you will become one. If you associate with givers, you will become one. If you associate with negative people, you will become one.

Whenever people succeed in life, petty people will take cracks at them and try to pull them down. When you refuse to fight petty people, you win. In martial arts, they teach that when someone takes a crack at you, instead of blocking you should step away. Why? Blocking requires energy. Why not use it more productively? Similarly, in order to fight petty people, you have to come down to their level. That is what they want, because now you are one of them.

Don’t let negative people drag you down. Remember that a person’s character is not only judged by the company they keep but also by the company they avoid.

I WANT TO BE FREE !!

There is a misconception that freedom means doing your own thing. One cannot always have what one desires. Many times it is not easy to comprehend the benefits of good values and discipline. It may even seem more profitable, enjoyable and convenient to do otherwise. All we need to do is see countless instances where lack of discipline has prevented people from succeeding.

Rather than the restraints of discipline pulling us down, discipline is really taking us up. This is what discipline is all about. We are all familiar with that big animal, the giraffe. A mama giraffe gives birth to a baby giraffe standing. All of sudden, the baby falls on a hard surface from the cushion of mama’s womb, and sits on the ground. The first thing mama does is to get behind the baby and give him a hard kick. The baby gets up, but his legs are weak and wobbly and the baby falls down. Mama goes behind again and gives him one more kick. The baby gets up but sits down again. Mama keeps kicking till the baby gets on its feet and starts moving. Why? Because mama knows that the only chance of survival for the baby is to get on its feet – otherwise it will be eaten by predators. Is this an act of love ?- THINK

Children brought up in a loving, disciplined environment end up respecting their parents more and become law-abiding citizens. If discipline were practiced in every home, juvenile delinquency would be reduced by 95%. -J.Edgar Hoover

We hear this phrase all the time: “I want to be free. “If you take the train off the track, it is free, but where does it go? If everyone could make their own traffic laws and drive on any side of the road would you call that freedom or traffic? What is missing is discipline. By observing the rules, we are actually gaining freedom.

Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired but controlling the desire. – Epictetus

HOW ARE WE MOTIVATED?

WE ARE ALL MOTIVATED – EITHER POSITIVELY OR NEGATIVELY.

When i was a teenager, I heard a story of two brothers. One was a drug addict and a drunk who frequently beat up his family. The other was a very successful businessman who was respected in society and had a wonderful family. How could two brothers raised by the same parents, brought up in the same environment, be so different?

The first brother was asked, “What makes you do what you do? You are a drug addict, a drunk, and you beat your family. What motivates you?” He answered, “My father. My father was a drug addict, a drunk and he beat his family. What do you expect me to do? That is what I am.”

The second brother was asked, “How come you are doing everything right? What is your source of motivation?” And guess what he said? “My father. When I was a little boy, I used to see my dad drunk and doing all the wrong things. I made up my mind that, that is not what I wanted to be.”

Both brothers derived their motivation from the same source, but one was using it positively and the other negatively. Negative motivation brings the desire to take the easier way which ends up being the tougher way.

Remember the greatest motivator is belief. We have to inculcate in ourselves the belief that we are responsible for our actions and behavior.

Always remember that, People do things for their own reasons, not yours. Sometimes we’re tested not to show our weakness, but to discover our strengths.

THE GREATEST GIFT

Of all the creatures in the world, humans are physically the most ill-equipped. A human cannot fly like a bird, outrun a leopard, swim like an alligator, nor climb trees like a monkey. A human doesn’t have the eye of an eagle, nor the claws and teeth of a wild cat. Physically, humans are helpless and defenceless; a tiny insect can kill a human with it’s sting. But nature is reasonable and kind. Nature’s greatest gift to humankind is the ability to think. Humans can create their own environment, whereas animals adapt to their environment.

Sadly, very few people use the greatest gift-the ability to think- to its full potential.

Life is like a cafeteria. You take a tray, select your food and pay at the other end. You can get anything you want as long as you are willing to pay the price. In a cafeteria, if you wait for people to serve you, you will wait forever. Life is like that too. You make choices and pay the price to succeed.

Failures are of two kinds: those who did and never thought and those who thought and never did. Going through life without using your ability to think is like shooting without aiming.

Change your thoughts and you change the world. – Norman Vincent peale