One of the biggest threats to a happy marriage is when one or both parties have unrealistic expectations of each other. When those expectations are not realized, you might feel betrayed. 

When my expectations of my wife were not being met, I remember feeling betrayed because she had promised to always make me happy. How self-absorbed I was back then.  God used my disillusionment to show me my selfish heart. Have you ever had expectations come crashing down around you when reality sets in? How did that experience make you feel?  Let’s talk for a moment about how disappointment turns to disillusionment.

You might feel betrayed when you come to realize the woman you married is not the woman you had perceived her to be. If you have been married for any amount of time, I am sure that by now you have your own secret list of things you wish you could change about your wife.

Have you considered your wife may have her own secret list of disappointments about you as well? Rather than dwelling on what you wish your wife would change, what if instead you work to be the man your wife had hoped you would be––the husband you meant to be––on the day you said, “I do.”

Can I let you in on a little secret? Looking to your wife/husband to make you happy is an unfair expectation. 

No matter how “perfect” she is, she will never bring you true joy. Because the purpose for which you exist is not to find happiness in your marriage relationship––contrary to every fairytale you ever heard as a little boy.

You were created to delight in your Creator. God made you to long for intimacy with Him—to delight in Him. So any other relationship that you pursue to fill the void only God can fill will always come up short. In the same way, you can never be your wife’s source of true joy.

You might be surprised to learn that the secret to a happy marriage isn’t related to how “ideal” your spouse is. Rather, it is grounded in a love that is deeper than your love for each other. 

A marriage flourishes when both husband and wife love Christ more than any other person in life––including one’s own spouse.

In Mark 12:30, Jesus declared that the priority of life is to love God with all of your being—all of it. 

It is humanly impossible to love selflessly because we are all born with a sin nature that seeks our own good above anyone else’s. The only people who are able to love the way Jesus intended are those who know Christ, and are pursuing a deeper love for the Lord. Because God provides His supernatural love to those who love Him, He offers hope for true love. 

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Published by johnranjit

Lifestyle Blogger


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